How to Survive Boulder’s Stay at Home Order

On Monday night, the City of Boulder issued an order that all citizens in the city must stay at home. All employees must work from home, if that’s possible for their work. This is essentially forcing the city’s populace to social distance during the COVID-19 outbreak.

Most of the readers of this website are not Boulder-based, but it’s still fun to write up a guide on how to survive relative isolation.

1. Catch up on sleep

It is the easiest thing in the world right now to go to bed early and sleep in late. Part of that is because we’re so bored during the day that you’re excited for the sweet release of sleep, but another part is that we don’t get many breaks in our society. Rest is undervalued in this late capitalist hell-hole, but it’s the least we can do to take care of body and mind.

2. Watch a movie you’ve never heard of

I’m sure you have caught on everything you’ve wanted, so I might suggest watching some movies you may not otherwise watch. Something like the German thriller The Lives of Others, or Asghar Farhadi’s drama A Separation (both available on Netflix). I maintain this spreadsheet for personal use, but if you want a watchlist with 180 films on it, here’s this link.

3. Spend time on cooking/baking

Like sleeping, we often don’t have the time to invest in cooking or baking. I’m terrible at making square meals, something I’m sure many 20-somethings share with me. With restaurants not an option anymore, forcing social distancing is as good a time as ever to get comfortable in the kitchen.

4. Home exercise, like stretching and yoga

All the gyms, courts and studios are closed, so exercising at home may be the only way for take care of yourself. Even if you don’t lift weights in the garage or do stationary cardio, stretching is something easy that should make it into your routine. It’s a great time to breathe, concentrate and get your body moving.

5. Home projects you’ve been putting off

I’m definitely not going to fix my broken cabinets, but it would be a good time to, lol.

6. Watch 62-36

If you want to see how social distancing works, watch Chris Brown always stay more than 6 feet away from the closest defender.

7. Read something relaxing, definitely not pandemic news

It’s hard to concentrate considering the endless updates of the pandemic. If you have the ability to ignore that anxiety, a light book is a great way to relax while still activating your brain. You could try something fun and thrilling, like Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Marukami, or something that’s just beautifully written, like My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante.

8. Sit in the sun

Isolating should be easier as long as we’re allowed to sit outside in the sun, especially if you have those light readings.

9. Plan that trip you’ve always wanted to go on; acknowledge that trip probably won’t happen

How much are flights from London to Zurich, or a bus from Salzburg to Ljubljana? Can I avoid the virus if I’m going to school in Egypt? Should I just say f—k it and spend a gap year in Colombia?

10. Stare at your phone until you’re allowed outside

I was going to write this as a comedy article, but it turned out to be way to earnest. My bad.