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Pac-12 adds Arkansas-Little Rock Trojans

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This is not a joke.

On Friday, the Pac-12 welcomed its newest member to the conference. They don’t quite fit the geography of the Great American West, nor do they fit with the Pac-12 rigorous academic reputation (excluding Arizona State), nor does this program contribute any champions to the Conference of Champions.

Welcome, University of Arkansas Little Rock.

Little Rock, unfortunately, is only associated with the Pac-12 in one sport, and that’s wrestling. They did not jump from the Sun Belt in any of their other sports, so bad news for Oregon State on still having to be the worst football team in the conference. Before adding the Trojans — now the best Trojans in the conference — the Pac-12 had only five members for wrestling after Boise State discontinued their program in 2017. The others are Arizona State, Oregon State, Stanford, Cal State Fullerton and Cal Poly.

Apropos of nothing, here is a list of other schools who would be a delight to add to the conference:

Texas Longhorns, football

Gonzaga Bulldogs, basketball

Long Beach State 49ers, baseball

Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, gymnastics

Montana State Bulldogs, skiing

Nairobi Wapiganaji, cross country

Naropa Cheetahs, yoga

Alaska-Anchorage Seawolves, deep sea fishing

University of Phoenix, dancing in the kitchen

Lewis & Clark Pioneers, screaming into the void until it screams back

American University in Cairo, wishing to pursue a noble cause but not knowing if you will ever make a difference in this fucked up world

Boise State Broncos, football