The first round of the NFL Draft got a bit out of hand, to say the least. There were many “wtf” moments throughout the evening, including but not limited to: the Browns reaching at #4 for Denzel Ward, Buffalo trading up to #8 to draft Josh Allen (lololol), the Saints trading two firsts to move up to pick
Lamar Jackson Marcus Davenport, UCLA having an offensive lineman drafted (let alone in the top 15), Rashad Penny somehow going to Seattle at #27, and Lamar Jackson falling to 32 (bless the Ravens).
So many great players were passed up for second round talents, but that means this second round is stacked. Let’s mock it.
33. Cleveland Browns - Derrius Guice, RB, LSU
Guice was absolutely a first round, but he was somehow passed over for Rashad Penny and Sony Michel, who are both good backs, but not quite on Guice’s level. Cleveland gets their running back after Saquon Barkley went to the Giants.
34. New York Giants - Brian O’Neill, OT, Pittsburgh
35. Cleveland Browns - Harold Landry, DE/OLB, Boston College
Landry was a top-15 talent but fell past the first round somehow. Cleveland jumps on him to supplement Myles Garrett.
36. Indianapolis Colts - Isaiah Oliver, CB, Colorado
Oliver didn’t find a home in the first round, but the Colts grab him here. It’s not an ideal landing spot for Oliver, but it’s fine.
37. Indianapolis Colts - Ronald Jones, RB, USC
38. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Maurice Hurst, DT, Michigan
39. Chicago Bears - Will Hernandez, G, UTEP
The Bears missed out on Quenton Nelson, but they make up for it here by snagging Hernandez, who is somehow still available at this place because of the weird run on running backs.
40. Denver Broncos - Joshua Jackson, CB, Iowa
Denver was hoping for Oliver, but they settle on the perpetually underrated Josh Jackson.
41. Oakland Raiders - Dallas Goedert, TE, South Dakota State
42. Miami Dolphins - Mason Rudolph, QB, Oklahoma State
Miami missed on a QB earlier when the Cardinals jumped them to pick Josh Rosen. Rudolph isn’t nearly the prospect, but he can play.
43. New England Patriots - Donte Jackson, CB, LSU
Jackson is basically Terrence Wheatley, for better or for worse, so it’s fitting Patriots selected in second round, just like they did the former Buff ten years ago.
44. Washington - Courtland Sutton, WR, SMU
45. Green Bay Packers - Christian Kirk, WR, Texas A&M
The Packers need depth at receiver after losing Jordy Nelson. Kirk can’t replace Nelson’s size on the outside, but he’s a great fit for their spread offense.
46. Cincinnati Bengals - Mike Gesicki, TE, Penn State
An extremely boring pick for an extremely boring team.
47. Arizona Cardinals - Sam Hubbard, DE/OLB, Ohio State
48. Los Angeles Chargers - James Daniels, C, Iowa
49. Indianapolis Colts - Ronnie Harrison, S, Alabama
50. Dallas Cowboys - Arden Key, LSU, DE/OLB
Arden Key, like Harold Landry, is a superb edge rusher who has fallen this far for reasons unknown. Anyway, the Cowboys pick a pass rusher to help DeMarcus Lawrence.
51. Detroit Lions - Anthony Miller, WR, Memphis
Anthony Miller is absolutely electric. This pick makes a good Detroit offense even more dangerous.
52. Philadelphia Eagles - Justin Reid, S, Stanford
53. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Malik Jefferson, LB, Texas
54. Kansas City Chiefs - Da’Shawn Hand, DT, Alabama
The Chiefs’s d-line isn’t what it used to be, so they try to address that here with another great Bama lineman.
55. Carolina Panthers - Connor Williams, OT/G, Texas
The Panthers always need offensive linemen, especially after losing Andrew Norwell. Williams can start right away and still develop into something more.
56. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Orlando Brown, OT/G, Oklahoma
Orlando Brown was a first round talent until he had a laughable combine performance. The Bucs see him as a quality guard.
57. Tennessee Titans - Harrison Phillips, DT, Stanford
58. Atlanta Falcons - Derrick Nnadi, DE, Florida State
59. San Francisco 49ers - Dorian O’Daniel, LB, Clemson
The 49ers passed on defensive playmakers earlier to fortify their offensive line. Now they need to pick O’Daniel to give them a rangy linebacker.
60. Pittsburgh Steelers - Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, OLB, Oklahoma
Pittsburgh can never have enough pass rushers. Also, this pick is mostly for Jon Woods, die hard Sooners and Steelers fan who need an excuse to buy another jersey.
61. Jacksonville Jaguars - James Washington, WR, Oklahoma State
Jacksonville lost Allen Robinson in free agency, so they would pick Washington here to have a deep threat.
62. Minnesota Vikings - Nick Chubb, RB, Georgia
Nick Chubb is the physical runner the Vikings seem to be missing. He would be a great complement to Dalvin Cook and their electric passing game.
63. New England Patriots - Kyle Lauletta, QB, Richmond
The Pats just traded Jimmy Garoppolo and they need to an eventual replacement for Tom Brady. Lauletta seems to be their type.
64. Cleveland Browns - Michael Gallup, WR, Colorado State
The Browns don’t really know what to do with this many second round picks. They could have traded up earlier, but now they kind of have to make a luxury pick, which is weird for a team that just went 0-16.