Our Colorado Buffaloes football team have opened the season in dismal fashion. Here are some strategies to try to start coping.
So... ...that sucked. Opening 0-2 in the way we did requires drastic counter-measures on our part. I'm not talking about a letter writing campaign, I mean things we need to do to ensure we can still enjoy the not-yet-begun Autumn.
1) GTFO - Go and enjoy the outdoors
go out and enjoy your local mountain/lake/swampland
It's nice weather everywhere today. You know how I know? Because it's nice* here in Houston; and when that's true, then by extension it must be nice weather everywhere else in the United States. So go and enjoy it.
*For this usage, 'Nice' means not 400°F
Just be sure to open the Ralphie Report on your phone when you do...
2) Laugh at other's failure...
You can start here with an old favorite:
When Nebraska loses God is happy— Joe(@Mr_mo_joe) September 9, 2012
continue with a new favorite:
ACC MISSED THE BOAT ON UTAH.
— THE KEY PLAY (@thekeyplay) September 8, 2012
and then maybe try something more exotic: barbeque pork sandwich anyone?
This season just crashed into a roadside ditch.— Razorbacks Blog (@RazorBloggers) September 9, 2012
If you're anywhere near Arkansas, just remember that Razorback tears taste like bacon.
And then take note that all of the following ranked, favored teams lost this weekend to unranked teams:
#8 Arkansas, #13 Wisconsin, #16 Nebraska, #18 Oklahoma St.
You may also enjoy knowing that Mizzou lost in "style"
3) Laugh at other's abject ridiculousness
Starting with an angry oompa-loompa
Seriously, the guy isn't 5' tall. Go get a tape measure and put a pencil mark on the wall at 4' 10" in view of your screen. Now rewatch that gif and see that tantrum being thrown into a new light.
Now know that no matter how many games we lose that we are better than this silliness:
Coach sumlin just landed here at the St. Pius Sealy game in a maroon helicopter #aggswaggyfrog.us/niuridqsijnrpo…— TexAgs.com (@TexAgs) September 7, 2012
That's a sideways video of A&M's head coach arriving at a high school in a pint-sized helicopter. A&M also lost this weekend.
4) Combine Beer and Science
Find the brewery nearest to you, and then combine their delicious line of products with science.
May I recommend the impact project which lets you simulate a meteor striking the earth? Perhaps a more familiar physics engine is in order...
5) Focus on the positives
The Buffs will be good again, eventually. It may be earlier than you think, but until then, enjoy the two-time SBNation Champion GIF:
"OM... OM... CHOMP" ...Splat!