The Ralphie Report All Pac-12 Team

CHUD SMASH - Jamie Sabau

So here it is, the very official preseason All Pac 12 team, for a season that doesn't start for almost 2 months, courtesy of Pacific Takes. It's an offseason dead period miracle!

Here comes the All Pac-12 ballot I submitted, including very much superficial and dumb justifications for my choices, which include several unjustifiable choices.

Heisman 1: Marqise Lee (USC): Simply put, he's the best offensive player in the Pac 12. He's tough to put in the top spot because he's a WR primarily, but he's still great. A far cry from the guy I projected as a safety out of high school, and a crummy one because he didn't seem to like getting hit. I know squat.

Heisman 2: Ka'Deem Carey (Arizona): Depending on the punishment he receives for a slew of off field incidents, I feel like he'll still put up big numbers in the RichRod offense, and would be #1 on this list if those issues weren't hanging over his head, as well as the likelihood that Arizona won't be a great team.

Heisman 3: D'Anthony Thomas (Oregon): Went to Oregon because USC projected him as a CB, and also because Oregon. CB might still be his best position, but his talent coupled with Oregon's scheme makes him an electrifying player who can score whenever the ball is in his hands.

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QB: Brett Hundley (UCLA): I really don't know why I chose Hundley over Mariota, but I went from really hating Hundley last year to really liking their offense, so I picked Hundley. One drawback is that he doesn't have a ton of offensive options around him. Also considered Keith Price, who I feel is poised for a huge comeback year. I'm also partial to him since I followed him in high school.

RB: Ka'Deem Carey (Arizona): See above. He's likely to put up monster numbers

RB: Bishop Sankey (Washington): I'm actually surprised that he made the Pacific Takes' overall team. I figured he be a somewhat below the radar choice

WR: Marquise Lee (USC): See above

WR: Brandin Cooks (Oregon State): I wouldn't call him underrated so much as undercovered. Pretty much everyone who follows Pac 12 football knows what he has done and can do. But couple the sleepy hamlet of Corvallis, OR with the relative lack of cares given about the Pac 12 by the rest of the country, and you're likey to get a "Brandon Who?" from most casual fans.

TE: Austin Seferian-Jenkins (Washington): His offseason DUI will probably have little impact in his production, as such things tend to happen to star players. He's the best tight end in the country

OT: Cameron Fleming (Stanford) & Michael Philipp (Oregon State)

OG: David Yankey (Stanford) & Xavier Su'a-Filo (Ucla)

C Hroniss Grasu (Oregon)

These are a bunch of fat guys that few know or care about. They're the best at being fat guys, so there's that. Honestly, I could've just typed "Stanford" across the board and not been far off.

All-purpose: D'Anthony Thomas (Oregon): See above. This is the obvious choice and allows a guy like Sankey to get a spot at RB

DE: Morgan Breslin (USC) & Chidera Uzo-Diribe (Colorado): Yeah, I said it. I think ChUD is going to have a great season as a two way defensive end. I'm sure that I wouldn't vote for him were I not a Colorado fan, but I am, so I did. My body, my choice.

DT: Will Sutton & George Uko: I think these are pretty obvious, even though the consensus went with the other Trojans DT.

LB: Anthony Barr (UCLA), Shayne Skov (Stanford), & Trent Murphy (Stanford): This was the consensus choice. They're all great linebackers. The end. Carl Bradford was also under serious consideration

CB: Ifo Ekpre-Olomu (Oregon) / Shaquille Richardson (Arizona): Ekpre-Olomu is the consensus best CB in the conference. I chose Shaq Richardson because I really do believe he's poised for a breakout, and also maybe as a nod to his cousin Paul, who I did try to find a way to fit in with the WR group. I initially had Greg Henderson penciled in here, but I just couldn't justify it. It's not a knock on Hendo, it's just that this is a fairly stacked position in the Pac.

S: Ed Reynolds (Stanford) & Jordan Richards (also Stanford): I'm getting really tired of typing Stanford over and over again.

K: Andrew Furney (Washington State): He's a kicker. That's enough words spent on him.

P: Darragh O'Neill (Colorado): Did you know he can kick with both feet? If not you have never seen a Colorado football game, because it's mentioned at every damn one of them.

Returns: Marqise Lee (USC): He's good at this, too.

Coach: Mike MacIntyre (CU): I figure CU wins 3 games this year. Is any other team going to triple their win total this year? I think not. Coach of the year!

OC: Noel Mazzone (UCLA): Like I said above, I came to really enjoy Ucla's offense and I think Mazzone's a versatile and creative guy, so he gets a pretend internet prize.

DC: Derek Mason (Stanford): Derek Mason was a guy I wouldn't have minded getting the CU head coaching job. He's a fantastic coordinator and well deserving of this extremely pretigious honor.

Defensive PoY: Anthony Barr (UCLA): He's played linebacker for all of one year and is already one of the best in the country, so he could take even a larger leap in year 2. Conversely, now the whole league knows about him so offensive coordinators might have better schemes set up to contain him. Or maybe something else!

Freshman: Barry Sanders (Stanford): I went against the grain a bit by choosing a redshirt instead of a true freshman. There's a stable of backs in Palo Alto, but a guy named Barry Sanders running behind the best line in the league is definitely a candidate to put up some highlights.

Overall my lineup wasn't too out of line with the overall choices, so I feel pretty good about this list, because groupthink. Would you choose differently? Let's find out, in the comments!

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