A Ralphie Report Field Trip To Watch Some Tennis

I am a good photographer - me- Phil, and my iPhone

I apologize for not wearing my TRR shirt. I bought a new shirt specifically for this tennis thing, but the TRR shirt would've been more flattering

So on Saturday I ventured down the road to Ucla to take in a tennis match between Ucla and YOUR Colorado Buffaloes.Full disclosure- I didn't wear my TRR shirt. I bought a new shirt specifically for this, and I didn't even think of the TRR shirt until I dug out my laundry this morning. Terrible oversight. It was a lot of fun, and I highly suggesting you and your family do the same if given the option. We lost, and it wasn’t particularly close, but so what!


I don’t really understand tennis. I literally posted this as a tweet:
We've only won one tennis thing so far (set? It might be called a set)." I am an idiot. I was talking about a game. It took me into singles play to remember "game/ set/ match." I know the basic rules and scoring, but I had no idea how to cheer. Do you cheer for a double fault on a serve? It’s a point for our player, but our lady didn’t do anything to make that happen. Cheering that just seems mean for the other lady. Also, there aren’t many people there, so everyone hears you. I got several glares when I clapped and cheered for my team. Additionally, you’re cheering for a person, not a team. It’s one thing to shout “Go Buffs!” but an entirely different thing to shout “Go Denise!” That’s oddly personal to me, and it’s not something with which I would personally be comfortable if I was a participant. It made it difficult.

Outfit-wise, we basically had 2 of them. Our doubles teams wore black polo type shirts with a blacker (YES THAT'S A WORD) stripe across the chest. The collar and cuff was white. This was complemented by a simple black skirt. It was okay. Certainly better than the washed out blue and gold numbers Ucla wore. Their style looked to be from the 80's and the outfits looked just as old. Our singles wore the same black skirts but with simple white tops. I didn't like those as much. They were too plain. I'd like to see everyone wearing the same outfit, and I'd like to see a splash of gold. We should be distinctive. (also- I'm not trying to be dismissive by calling them "outfits" instead of "uniforms." I think outfits sounds funnier so I'm going to use it for all of our sports. "Look at our cute football outfits!"). Of course, the only player who won wore a black top, so maybe we should wear that.

Ucla was ranked number 5 in the nation, and proved why they should be versus the Buffs. They beat the Buffs handily in doubles play, despite some really great efforts by our ladies. I couldn’t do tennis. There are too many variables that I would get frustrated over during the course of a long match. There were plenty of plays where our ladies made great shots, only to be countered by outstanding shots by Ucla that resulted in a point. Most of those plays seemed to be made by Skylar Morton. In one instance, The 2 Ucla #1 doubles players- Morton and Robin Anderson- smashed into each other while both going for the same ball, and they still got the point because of a weird drop. Also, Ucla employed a serve that involved the front player ducking down and the server whizzing the ball over her head by about 3 inches. There’s no way in hell I would agree to that, because these ladies hit the crap out of the ball.

It’s also weird trying to watch 3 matches at once. Especially if you don’t know how to cheer. Bottom line- we lost all of our 3 doubles matches, and all of the lame old people around me seemed to not appreciate my hilarious comments about the matches.

I started to watch the singles matches, and noticed that a lot of the fans (there weren’t many) had left, and there was no cheering at all. What the hell happened? Well, it turns out that there were 2 sets of courts. I only noticed because the other matches had updating scores on the scoreboard. So I made my way to the bleachers pointing to the one match I came to see. But those bleachers were far away, so I made my way upstairs so I could see the match featuring my new BFF- CU Freshman Mazy Watrous taking on Ucla Junior Someone Else.

Let’s start here- I deal with vertigo, so it was tough to watch the match from way up above. I was dizzy a lot. But Mazy’s a tough player. She kills the ball from the baseline. But she also gets too frustrated when things don’t go her way. This is why I can’t do tennis. One time she killed a shot but the other lady responded, which hit the net and fell over. That's some bullshit. One time she had a huge smash that landed 3 inches wide. Some bullshit. One time her opponent won a point with a tip off the net after Watrous had been dealing for at least 8 straight sweet volleys. These things happen, and they really suck. Also, if you check out the Buffs, drink when Mazy slaps her left leg before receiving a serve. You’ll get drunk as hell!

Mazy also had some sweet kicks, but we need to get the ladies some signature socks. My black and gold argyles were the best at the stadium. C'mon, Nike!

I really enjoyed watching us play. Even though we didn’t win, it was a tense match.
After the Watrous match, I was able to watch Juylette Steur play well, she started out strong in both of her sets before succumbing, and Winde Janssens get her win. Steur raced out of the gate by going up 0-4 in her first set. Then she lost 6-4. Ugh. So frustrating. Her second set wasn't any better, turning an 0-3 lead into a 7-5 defeat. Her opponent, Robin Anderson is ranked #5 in the nation, so that's nothing to sneeze at. Janssens is on something of a streak, defeating #86 Pamela Montez a week after defeating #111 Desirae Krawczyk of Arizona State. Why are all tennis players' names so tough on my spell check? Also, Janssens is super tiny. She's listed at 5'5" but looks maybe 95 pounds. And she pounds the hell out of the ball. The amount of torque she generates on her serve is incredible. She looks like Plastic Man in her wind up (is it called a wind up? I'm talking about the thing where she tosses the ball up and bends way back before striking the ball. I'm a good tennis analyst)

Like I said before- if you get the chance, check out our tennis team. They’re a great group who deserve our attention and are incredible athletes. I can't even count the number of times I saw a difficult ball get returned to the baseline with a simple flick of the wrist. We should truly appreciate all of the athletes who work hard to represent CU. To every player I didn't mention individually- blame the format of your games. It is hard enough to focus on one game. I can't watch 3 games at once, let alone 6 games at once during singles play. Tennis should be like bowling- only one gets to go at a time. That way I don't get confused and feel stupid(er). Also, I would like to doubly thank Mazy Watrous for finding me after her match and introducing herself. She was as lovely, kind, and gracious as I could hope for from a CU athlete. Go Buffs!
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