As i'm sure most of you have realized by now, our basketball team isn't too shabby. Also, as i'm absolutely sure most of you have realized, Nebraska sucks ass. Coincidentally enough, the Nebraska basketball team is trying to defect making their annual trip to our wonderful state. In honor of this magnificent occasion, I would like to open up a friendly place where we can all come together, and hate Nebraska. Let me begin.
After some basic research, something the good folks at UNL undoubtedly forgot to teach their students, I learned that those monsters northeast of us brought the world the Evil of Larry the Cable guy. Thats right, the piece of crap who brought the world such classics like "Delta Farce" and "Witless protection" (Great names, Nebraskan, you're digging deep for those) is from that garbage state. That is unforgivable.
Since they obviously failed miserably at attempts to form art in their culture, the Nebraskan then went on to figure out ways in which to bring people to their state. And what did they come up with? A highway. That state sucks so much, the only reason to go there, is to get somewhere else. Luckily they were nice enough to put little pieces of crap to put up next to the highway for people to make fun of while they run as fast as they can through the i-80 "valley of death". Making the highlight of the state, other than fat uneducated people in Snuggies, a giant bridge thing across I-80. Thrilling...
My Buffalo Brothren, the bottom line is that Nebraska is Nebraska. They steal our water, bring down the National IQ, and by most accounts, they smell really really bad. I think the University of Colorado men who created South Park said it best when they said "Welcome to Nebraska, Sorry..."
Go Buffs, Nebraska sucks, and see you all at the Coors Event Center on Wednesday!!!!